A True Friendship (Ruth 1:6-22)

We can’t live alone.

There’s one important truth that the Facebook or other SNS (Social Network Service) teaches us today: everyone wants to be connected. We love to build relationship and make friends. There is no one who can live alone because we were created so. God says, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” (Gen. 2:18) People find much joy in connection with others. The more friends you have, the more important person you feel. It’s a great pleasure when you receive lots of “like”s from your friends. We love to be connected to each other.

However, there are times when we want to disconnect the relationship. We are tempted to end our friendship whenever we experience failure. Especially in honor/shame culture like Asian, Middle East, Africa, and Latin America, you can see people who try to disconnect the relationship whenever they are ashamed of themselves. They don’t answer the phone nor reply to the text messages. Sometimes, they even close their Facebook or other SNS accounts. Every time we face hardships and trials, or every time we are in trouble, we don’t want to meet others. We want to be alone away from others.

Naomi wants to leave alone.

In today’s passage, we can see Naomi, a miserable woman, who wants to disconnect the relationship and leave alone. She tells her two daughters-in-law to return to their mother’s house because she has no hope at all. When she sends them back, she gives a word of blessing in verse 89, “May the Lord deal kindly with you, as you have dealt with the dead and with me. The Lord grant that you may find rest, each of you in the house of her husband!” (vv.8-9) She’s asking God’s blessing for them out of true love for them.

What is the meaning of her blessing? It is worth to pay attention to the expressions she uses. In verse 8, she uses two different verbs. It says in NIV, “May the Lord show you kindness, as you have shown kindness to your dead husbands and to me.” (v.8) Here, you can find the same expression, “show kindness” is used twice. However, in ESV, the expression, “kindly (hesed)” is used only once to describe God’s action. “May the Lord deal kindly with you, as you have dealt with the dead and with me.” (v.8)

In terms of translation, I would say that ESV translates it better, more literally. In the original Hebrew text, there appears two different words. The word, ‘asah’ is used to describe the actions of the two daughters-in-law, which means ‘to work, do, and make’. However, it uses a different word, ‘hesed’ to describe the action of the Lord, which means ‘kindness, love, and faithfulness.’ Since they are different, I think they need to be translated differently. So it is a very well translated in ESV when it says, “May the Lord deal kindly with you, as you have dealt with the dead and with me.” (v.8)

You might say, “Pastor, why is it important? Do we really need to know the Hebrew expressions?” Maybe, you don’t have to know the Hebrew words, but you need to understand the concept and meaning of the word, “hesed” because it is one of the most important key themes revealed in the Bible. You need to know it because it’s about God. It shows us who God is and how He loves us.

Then, what is the meaning of the word, hesed? It can be translated differently by different scholars such as kindness, love, loving-kindness, faithfulness, and loyalty, but I would like to take it as “a covenantal faithfulness.” Hesed is a faithfulness or loyalty between the two parties of a covenant. In a covenant relationship, you are expected to show hesed (faithfulness or loyalty) to the counterparty.

For example, you can find it in the covenant of Abraham and Isaac made to Abimelech, in the covenant between David and Jonathan, and David’s hesed to Mephibosheth, a son of Jonathan. It is also found in David who had to keep the covenant to the Gibeonites. In each situation, each party should be faithful and loyal to keep the covenant. This is the meaning of hesed, a covenantal faithfulness (or loyalty) which is required to show in a covenant relationship.

More specifically, this theological term, hesed, is used to describe the love, kindness, and faithfulness of our God to His people. Our God is the God of hesed. He never breaks His covenant. He is so faithful and loyal to keep His covenant to His people. Even though He doesn’t have to, even though he doesn’t have any responsibilities to do, even though no one forces Him to, He shows hesed to His people voluntarily out of His love. He does it not out of duty but of delight. So, in the Bible, the expression ‘hesed’ is often used to describe God’s love (covenantal faithfulness) for His people.

This is the blessing Naomi asks God in today’s passage for her daughters-in-law. She asks God to show them His hesed (a covenantal faithfulness). She’s asking so because she loves them so much. Also in verse 9, she asks that God would give each of them a new husband through him they would find rest. What a great blessing! Naomi is such a good mother-in-law who truly wants her daughters-in-law to be happy and blessed. She’s asking God’s blessing and sending them back to their mother’s house not for her own benefit but for their benefit. Though she knows how painful it is for her to leave them and how hard it is to be left alone, she does so out of true love for them.

Ruth doesn’t leave Naomi alone.

However, both Orpah and Ruth don’t want this happen to them. It says in verse 9, “they lifted up their voices and wept.” They can’t accept it and say, “No, we will return with you to your people.” When they say this, they truly mean it. They also love their mother-in-law so much that they want to stay with her. Then, Naomi continues to say from verse 11-13. She’s saying them of her hopeless situation. “Turn back, my daughters; why will you go with me? Have I yet sons in my womb that they may become your husbands?” (v.11)

Why is she talking about other sons? You need to understand the historical and cultural background of this story. Let’s read Deuteronomy 25:5-6, “If brothers dwell together, and one of them dies and has no son, the wife of the dead man shall not be married outside the family to a stranger. Her husband's brother shall go in to her and take her as his wife and perform the duty of a husband's brother to her. And the first son whom she bears shall succeed to the name of his dead brother, that his name may not be blotted out of Israel.” (Deut. 25:5-6)

It’s a law commanded to the Israelites called, “levirate marriage.” When a husband dies and when there is no son who will succeed, the dead husband’s brother shall marry his brother’s wife so that his brother’s family can be preserved. Isn’t it amazing? God made this law to keep every tribe and family in Israel from vanishing from the earth. It is amazing that God secured and guaranteed this through the codification of the law. We can see our God loves us not just in words but also in deeds and actions. With a knowledge of this levirate marriage law, we can understand why Naomi is in a hopeless situation and why she’s urging them to leave her.

So, both of them make a final decision in verse 14, “…And Orpah kissed her mother-in-law, but Ruth clung to her.” (v.14) They made an opposite decision. Orpah chooses to leave her while Ruth chooses to cling to her and stay with her wherever she goes. I have much to say about Orpah’s decision, but let’s not make a moral or even spiritual judgement. I would like to focus on the significance of Ruth’s decision today. Though Naomi wants to leave alone, Ruth doesn’t leave her alone. Why does she choose to follow her mother-in-law? What is the significance of the decision she makes? Why is it so important in God’s plan of salvation, and what does He want to teach us today?

Let us listen to the conversation of Naomi and Ruth from verse 15 through verse 17. Naomi keeps urging Ruth to return to her people and to her gods, the god of Moabites, Chemosh. However, Ruth is even more determined and says, “Do not urge me to leave you or to return from following you. For where you go I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there will I be buried. May the Lord do so to me and more also if anything but death parts me from you.” (vv.16-17)

This is an astonishing confession! She confesses that she will follow her mother-in-law wherever she goes. Moreover, she confesses that the God of Naomi, Yahweh will be her God. This is her confession of faith in God. What’s even more surprising is that she’s willing to follow her even to the death. “Where you die I will die, and there will I be buried. May the Lord do so to me and more also if anything but death parts me from you.” (v.17) She unites her life, her destiny with her mother-in-law. This is not just a literary expression but a literal expression. She literally means that she would be buried with her even after death. She is so determined now, and nothing can separate her from her mother-in-law, not even the death. What a beautiful confession! What a great love and friendship she has for her mother-in-law!

Let’s stop here and think about her decision for a while. Does it make any sense? Is this decision reasonable or understandable? Most people around us are willing to follow and stay with those who are strong, powerful, influential, rich, and intelligent. When we are with those people, and when we are friends to them, we feel we are just as they are. So, we want to be with them, stay with them, expecting to get something from them. We follow someone who can help us, not the one who needs our help. We follow them for our own benefit.

Nobody wants to follow those who are perishing, dying, or declining. No one is willing to sacrifice himself for other’s benefit, go into a hopeless and miserable situation, and be with them. We might do so if we have to do so because it’s our responsibility, or if we are forced to do so. But not willingly and voluntarily. We want to stay together with someone who can make us succeed and make us better people. This is our natural instinct and our nature.

However, the decision Ruth makes here is totally different. It’s actually a nonsense to go with Naomi and die with her. It’s counter-cultural and counter-intuitive decision. She wants to cling to her and stay with her. She wants to follow her wherever she goes. She is even willing to go into a hopeless situation and die with her. She does so even though there’s nothing she can gain from her. She does it not for her own benefit, but for her mother-in-law’s benefit. She does so voluntarily out of true love. No one asks or forces to do so. This is not just hard decision but literally nonsense. It’s completely opposite to our instinct and nature. It blows our minds!

God doesn’t leave His people alone.

I think this is something that God wants to teach us today. This is the kind of love, the very kind of friendship and relationship we ought to have to our neighbors. This is a deeper and truer meaning of hesed love. I’ve said earlier that hesed is a covenantal faithfulness or loyalty that each party of the covenant should show to its counterparty. Hesed is the very love and friendship that our God shows to His people.

But in a truer sense, it’s not about the kindness which the weaker show to the stronger. Instead, it is the kindness which the upper or the superior show to the lower and the inferior voluntarily. It is the kindness which the strong show to the weak, the rich show to the poor, the upper show to the lower, and the superior show to the inferior even though there’s no responsibility or obligation to do so. So, it is God who shows hesed to us primarily, not us to Him. Ruth shows us the genuine hesed. She now practices God’s hesed through her decision to follow her mother-in-law who is a miserable and hopeless woman!

Dear brothers and sisters, what kind of friendship do you build with your friends? Let’s take a moment and think about how we make relationships with others. What kind of people do you call your friends? What kind of friends do you prefer to stay with? Do you want to associate with the strong, rich, intelligent, social or economic upper-class people? Or do you want to get along with social outcasts, poor and needy? Do you want to be the friends of those who can make you succeed? Or do you want to be the friends of those who needs your help and who can become successful through you?

Remember how God restores Naomi’s life. He restores Naomi’s life through the decision of Ruth and through her hesed friendship. He used the true friendship and deeper relationship to restore the miserable life and to fill the empty heart. Because of Ruth’s decision to follow her and to die with her, Naomi experiences God’s blessing.

And this is exactly the friendship Jesus shows to His friends. He says, “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.” (John 15:13) Jesus is the one who entered our hopeless and miserable life just as Ruth did to Naomi. Jesus is like Ruth to you and me. He became our true friend who were friendless. He became just like us and stayed with us. He came to us not for success but for service. He became the Son of man to make us the sons of God. He was cursed to bless us. He bore our burdens and carried our cross.

Even though there’s nothing He can get from us, though He didn’t have to, He didn’t have any responsibility to do so, He did so happily and voluntarily. He showed us the greatest friendship by laying down his life for His friends. This is the true friend we have! This is the hesed we experienced! Nothing can separate us from the friendship of God, the hesed of God. Listen to what Paul says about Christ’s love. “Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword?... For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:35, 38-39)

Although there might be so many things trying to separate you from His love and disconnect your relationship to Him, there’s nothing, not even the death, that can separate you from His love. Just as Ruth who is willing to die for Naomi, Jesus died for you and me. He showed us a true friendship and true hesed. And now, this is my question for you today. To whom will you be a true friend just like Ruth and Jesus? To whom will you show God’s hesed today?